Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Kalaulah Ku Tahu Itu Kenyataan Nya.......



Gerimis mula membasahi bumi Bandar Maharani ini. Disertakan dengan angin sepoi-sepoi bahasa. Membuatkan suasana amat dingin. Aku duduk kaku di kerusi itu. Sambil menghadapkan wajah ku ke arah Selat Melaka. Dalam usaha ku untuk mencari ketenangan. Perkara yang telah lama terpadam dalam kamus hidup ku.

Biak-biak air hujan menerpa ke wajah ku. Dek kerana deru angin ombak Selat Melaka. Aku termangu di kerusi itu. Duduk keseorangan. Tanpa sebarang arah tujuan. Tanpa ku tahui apakah yang ingin ku cari di sini.

Lagu itu bermain-main di telinga ku. Indah. Seindah penyanyinya. Namun ku tidak pasti adakah ianya dapat ku jelmakan dalam hidup ini. Minda ku bercelaru memikirkannya. Dan setiap kali aku memikirkannya, dan setiap kali itu jualah aku gagal untuk mencari jawabannya. Dan kesudahannya aku terus duduk di sini. Termangu-mangu. Mencari jawapan pada persoalan yang tiada kesudahannya…..

………………

“Sorry. I can’t accept it. Yeah I do like you. But only as a friend. Not more than that.”
“Yeah. After all the things you did to me, now only you said that. Terima kasih sangat!!”
“Please. I don’t think I can.”
“Then why don’t you say it earlier? When I just knew you? Hah??”
“Please…. At least we can be friend rite?”
“Yeah… You wish!!”

………………

“I am sorry. I wish I could say no. But I don’t have any other options. I have to. I am really sorry…..”
“Say sorry to yourself. In life, we do have options. Either yes or no, ok or not ok, left or right. It is just a matter of choosing the right option. How can you say that you don’t have any option? Hah??”
“I have to. You know my mom rite. Biler dia dah buat keputusan, semua orang kena ikut. Tak boleh nak lawan……”
“Then it is your problem lah. Not mine….”
“I am sorry. But I think you can live without me, rite?”
“Hahahahahahaha……. Betul lah tue.”

………………

“Sorry. Been busy. Banyak kerja……..”
“Hmmm…. Takanlah selamanya busy. Just nak reply sms pun takan tak sempat….”
“Why?”
“Tadalah marah ke apa. I know you tue busy. Just bengkek ajer when you tak reply my sms. Orang call pun tak angkat….”
“Siapa suruh?”
“Erk…. Memanglah takda siapa suruh….”
“So kenapa nak bengkek plak?”
“Hmmmm….. Takda apalah……”

………………

Angin bertiup agak kencang. Pelepah pohon kelapa jatuh dek kerana kencangnya angin yang bertiup. Aku masih lagi di sini. Melihat deru angin Selat Melaka. Sambil memerhatikan mereka yang sedang keseronokan bermain di hujung sana. Melihatkan keletah mereka membuatkan aku ketawa keriangan. Bagi ku, mereka sajalah permata hati ku ini. Yang mampu menceriakan hidup ku di kala aku melara jiwa. Yang mampu menzahirkan sekuntum bunga di wajah ku, tiap kala aku kemurungan.

Sang hujan sudah lama melabuhkan sayapnya. Namun guruh masih berdentum di atas langit sana. Menandakan sang hujan akan kembali lagi. Mungkin kali ini lebih hebat, lebih gagah. Mereka masih seronok bermain-main di sana. Seolah-olah tidak mahu pulang.

Lagu itu sudah berkali-kali dimainkan. Namun tidak sekali pun aku berasa jemu mendengarnya. Aku sendiri tidak pasti kenapa. Mungkin kerana ianya dapat menceritakan apa yang telah aku rasa, apa yang telah aku lalui. Mungkin betul kata mereka. Aku terlalu mengikut kata dia. Aku terlalu menurut. Dan bila keadaan sebaliknya, adakah dia di situ bersama ku? Hanya sekadar untuk melihat bintang di langit. Yang ada hanyalah kami. Berdiri di bukit itu, melihat cahaya neon Kuala Lumpur, mengira-ngira bintang di langit. Berbicara pada alam……

Guruh berdentum lagi. Kali ini di ikuti dengan gegakan sang petir, sabung-menyabung. Awan mega beralih arah. Memberikan laluan pada si kabut. Tanda hujan akan turun lagi. Pastinya lebih meriah. Aku bangkit dari tempat duduk ku. Mencari mereka di hujung sana. Untuk ku bawa pulang. Melihatkan ku sudah berdiri, mereka terus mendapatkan ku. Faham bahawa aku ingin pulang.

Aku terus melangkah. Menuju ke tempat itu. Dengan sisa keyakinan yang masih ada. Iltizam dan kekuatan diri yang masih berbaki. Dengan teman yang sentiasa di samping ku. Dengan wajah-wajah ceria, comel mereka. Yang pastinya akan menzahirkan warna-warna pelangi hidup ini. Dengan si Hajah yang senantiasa ceria. Dengan gelak ketawanya. Membingitkan hidup ini. Dan aku terus melangkah. Meninggalkan taman khuldi itu………

18 comments:

In The Nite Garden said...

hmmm.... since this is a fiction, so reserve my comment la (",)

psychic said...

is it really a fiction???

daSetan_7 said...

In The Nite Garden:
Even though it is a fiction, you are free to pen your comment. I would love to read it. Hopefully it is not a "meghela" comment yar (",)

psychic:
The Head Hunter is meant for two things:
1) non-fiction, which is mainly focusing on the issues of Islam and science, Islamic perspective of anthropology, book review, analysis and discussion of contemporary anthropological issues in particular Malaysian anthropological issues and Malaysian communal politics, and

2) fiction, which is mainly stories I created without refering to anyone.

Mind asking, why do you ask? And who are you?

psychic said...

I am whoever I am. I asked as to da doubts emerged out of some points there. N it is still left in doubt...

daSetan_7 said...

Doubts emerged out of some points?? Enlighten me please. Dont get you....

Well thank you for nicely introducing yourself...

psychic said...

Da most crucial points are enlightened below:-

"I dont have any other options. I have to. I am really sorry."

"I think u can live without me rite.."

Da above statements to my view are neither a fiction nor a coincidence. Mind tellin me ur purpose of revealing it?

Give a thought for a while. U noe who I am..

daSetan_7 said...

Well if you think that it is neither a fiction nor a coincidence, I could not say more then. Seriously, for me, it is a fiction. I am not refering to anybody.

Even, IF it got to do with someone, why on earth you should think that it is you, or someone close to you? Why should I hussle myself with one person? Why cant you think that, IF it got to do with someone, it is about someone else? If it is because of the sentences, well the same sentences can be said by other people too. It is not exclusively yours, or someone close to you.

Purpose of revealing it? Revealing what? IF I reveal something pun, PLEASE I beg, it is not about you or someone close to you.

The story is interconnected, from a part to the others. I dont think you understand the whole story, do you?

In The Nite Garden said...

ehh, aku rasa those three conversations tu macam aku penah dengaq jer sblm ni... kalau tak silap ada dlm satu drama online.. tajuknya aku tak berapa ingat. rasa2 tajuknya Kerana Kerini kut. pengarahnya mohd noor kaduk kalau tak silap.. skripnya ditulis oleh sorang pak haji masa dia tgh demam ;p

awat ang ciplak dia punya skrip ahh???? kut yer pun citer fiction, jgn le ciplak skrip orang lain.. satu malaysia tgk drama tue (",)

daSetan_7 said...

Ciplak? Sorry. Tak main ciplak-ciplak okay. Ini original okay (",)

In The Nite Garden said...

hohohohoho maknanya ang ler pak haji tu ekkk aku tak tau plak ang ada colaborasi ngan mohd noor kaduk (",)

Ang ada tulis satu drama lg kan?? tajuknya "Aduh... Aduh.... Haji Chomot" bila nk kluaq online tue??? ;p

daSetan_7 said...

Hohohoho... Bukan haji chomotlah. Haji chomel lote lagi kiut (",)

In The Nite Garden said...

Haji Meghela ;p

daSetan_7 said...

Ang tue Hajah Menghela. Aku Haji Chomel (",)

In The Nite Garden said...

bertubi2 yg kata aku meghela...

cukup la tue.... aku dah tak larat dah.... sampai masanya aku akan pergi kalau itu boleh buat ang stop kata aku meghela...

daSetan_7 said...

Ler.... Ang terasa ka?? Sorrylah. Okaylah aku panggil ang Hajah Pencen Menghela (",)

In The Nite Garden said...

i turn ugly when i'm sulking...

off pls!!!! i had enough....

daSetan_7 said...

Apa nie? Tak fahamlah...

In The Nite Garden said...

maybe skrg ang dah paham kut psal apa aku hangin satu badan (",)